When Honesty Goes Wrong: Three Lessons from MillerKnoll’s CEO
Andi Owen, CEO of MillerKnoll, was at the end of a 75-minute town-hall meeting where she was responding to employee questions about bonuses. Her remarks at the end of the meeting, were leaked and went viral, for all the wrong reasons. Of a 75-minute town hall, just 82 seconds of Ms. Owens’ honesty made all the difference.
This video teaches us three important lessons about leader honesty:
1. Be self-aware about where your honesty is coming from.
None of us can pretend to know what was going on in Ms. Owen’s mind at this moment, but her communication provides important clues. In the lead-up to her (in)famous remarks, she comments that when it comes to questions she had been receiving about bonuses, “Some of them were nice and some of them were not so nice”, ending this comment with a curt smile. This is already a warning sign. If the “not nice” comments and questions were top of mind for Ms. Owens (or any leader), then they might signal that any forthcoming honesty is coming from an annoyed, triggered, or defensive place. And make no mistake, it will land wrong.
After this point, her voice becomes louder and increases in pitch, warning sign #2. She exclaims, “Don’t ask about – what are we going to do if we don’t get a bonus”, during which she uses a mocking, low-pitched voice to depict the people asking the question. (The ‘low’ voice is one we might use to depict stupidity and simplemindedness in others). This is warning sign #3. John Gottman, who studies romantic relationships, stated that one of the signs that a relationship is in trouble is when he saw a partner express contempt toward another, like rolling their eyes or using a mocking voice to imitate their partner. The relationships that leaders cultivate with their followers are no different. When a leader expresses even mild forms of contempt towards employees, it can be a signal of a larger breakdown of the mutual respect that is necessary for a well-functioning organization that can rise to the challenge.
2. Understand how your honesty is going to be taken in context.
MillerKnoll’s statement in defense of the CEO was based on the idea that her remarks were “taken out of context and struck a nerve”. Indeed, the full meeting video shows a generally competent and empathetic CEO performance. However, our honest remarks are always taken in context, it just may be a context we are not aware of. In my own research, individuals would report regrets with honesty when they would express an honest opinion and then find the other person getting very upset, seemingly out of all proportion. By their reports, the other person would take the honest opinion as a commentary on something else, like the relationship at large, and how valued and appreciated they feel, something that Douglas Stone and Shelia Heen call “switchtracking”. Ms. Owen’s comments to ‘lead by example’ and ‘focus on working hard, not the bonus’, and ‘leave pity city’ drew attention to her status as a privileged CEO who collects large bonuses every year, as well as the broader inequity of the egregious pay gap between CEOs and average workers. Yes, it struck a nerve indeed.
Recent perspectives suggest that an important aspect of being honest is not just speaking what we believe to be true but also engaging in truth-seeking behavior. This means that being an honest leader is a commitment to soliciting, learning, and discovering the truth, rather than being boxed in by your own perspective. If as a leader, you find that your remarks are being taken out of context, then you must ask yourself, what context are they being put into and why?
3. Use honesty to start a conversation, not end it.
In one of the most lambasted moments of the video, Ms. Owens mouths “Boom” as she finishes her remarks to ‘leave pity city’, and with them ends the meeting. Perhaps in her mind, she silenced the critics while simultaneously inspiring and motivating everyone else. When we use honesty as a “mic-drop” moment, it can give us a momentary sense of power and invincibility. Leaders, by virtue of their position, will always have an audience for their remarks, but with that, they sometimes forget that they should not be the only ones privileged with speaking ‘their truth’.
Honesty is what we use to open a conversation. It sounds like “Here’s what I think about this issue, what do you think about it?” and “I’m feeling this way because of what you said, help me understand what you meant” and finally;
“My remarks were hurtful and out of touch. They came from a place where I was feeling attacked and criticized, but all they did was unfairly spread the criticism around. Help me understand what I need to do to make amends.”